So I am oftentimes cruising the web and come across services or products that seem either wrong, offensive, useless, or just overall bat shit crazy. Hence the birth of a new tag called "Why Does this Exist?". The first subject of this series is the dating website, Classy Asian Ladies, "where quality single men connect with upscale Asian women living in the US". The website is very proud to tell you that all women on the site are legal residents in the U.S., some even born here, yet still maintain the values of "the East" (upchuck here...and wipe). While much is said on the site about the women, there is nothing said about the men leading me to believe this is only a service for men and not for"Classy Asian Ladies" to find love. The most disturbing part is the tab that explains "Why Asian Women?". Here's a little snippet to explain this question of all ages:
Wonderfully easy to be withPlease...let the commenting COMMENCE!
You will find that with their beauty and intelligence the Asian women on ClassyAsianLadies.com also tend to make ideal money managers in the home or business. They have a good head for finance and know how to help their man conserve his income. The Asian lady helps her man to use money wisely and save but without being intrusive and with all their wisdom and intelligence, they still remain wonderfully easy to be with. They rarely complain, are gentle and constructive with their criticism and often display a delightful sense of humor. Did we mention that Asian ladies are among the most beautiful females in the world? And they are well known for retaining their youthful beauty and shapely figures well into middle age and beyond.
I put this up to show the narrow way in which Asian women can be regarded by men. I used to view men's attraction to Asian women as simply an aesthetic preference, but the more I see sites like this the more I understand that the attraction is also based on cultural stereotypes about womanhood, subjugation, and femininity. I don't know any Asian women that fit these stereotypes and it disturbs me that men may be attracted to an entire ethnic group because of them.
ReplyDeleteThis is so sad. It makes me depressed for humanity. How can these women possibly be ok with being a part of this website? Are they supposed to be bridal material or just accountants? I wish that this website was a trap to find and flog men who really believed in this crap.
ReplyDeleteits business, note that its says the women are residents, not citizens of the US. that means they are here illegally and looking for help or want to come to the US. the few it references as being here for a while probably don't actually exist, or maybe there's one of them. Those women are not the women in the ads, they are women looking for a better life or are already sold into slavery and have no choices. Often, when you have no rights, marriage to a rich guy in a rich country even if he sucks, is much better than being hungry and physically abused every day. As for the guys, well, they are racist and child-like and put other people down to make themselves feel up. They want a cute robot they can fuck who will never require them to actually interact or think. I've had a few Asian friends who wouldn't date white/black guys because they didn't want to deal w/ someone's "asian fetish" which they saw as a grown man wanting to rape little exotic girls who would like it.
ReplyDeleteOn another note, often white women react to the Asian fetish with distaste but also with a twinge of anxiety "am I not pretty enough? white women aren't pretty enough for you? need exotic?" and we run to look at our skin in the mirror and lament how unskinny we are compared to our idealized Asian counterparts. It struck me as similar to black women's reaction to black men w/ white women. Although the white/asian thing doesn't cut as deep and isn't as hurtful, i am wondering if there are any real parallels. hmmm.
heh, umm, this is the site my dad used.
ReplyDeletehttp://wife.thaiholiday.biz/success.htm
I agree...it's definitely difficult to talk about "Why are men attracted to this?" without it seeming like "I'm not this, so men must not be attracted to me, I will be alone forever". And there were definitely times in the past where I have actually felt this way.
ReplyDeleteAs far as similarities with white women viewing white men dating Asian women as similar to black women viewing black men dating white women, I think the resentment is slightly different. I think that many times when black women express not wanting black men to date non-black people it's in the vein of cultural preservation. It's a matter of wanting black men to remain committed to the black community. Whereas I feel like a white or Western woman resenting a man for dating an Asian woman for stereo-types of submission it's seen as a disregard for progress women have made in the US. Instead of wanting to preserve the white community, I think it's wanting to legitimize evolving Western values towards women. When men openly want certain women for ethnic stereo-types of submission, they are also openly tearing down women who do not want to submit to men. And the fact that there are enough men like this to financial support many companies that offer such services is disheartening to me and my values as a feminist. I would also highlight that there are many women in Asian countries (especially democratic ones) who are not submissive, who are free thinking, and who do not fit the description offered up by this website. There are also plenty of women of other ethnicities/races who ARE submissive and fit this website's description. So I find it racist and sexist to simply classify women into certain categories based on race. When I was in China, I was told Chinese men would never date a white woman because she is not submissive and is so promiscuous that her vagina has become too wide for a Chinese penis. I guess that's why there's no ClassyWhiteLadies site.
sounds like a little dick problem. just kidding.
ReplyDeleteyou may be kidding, but that is part of the joke as well...(chinese man small + chinese woman small = ok; white man large + chinses woman small=good; chinese man small + white woman large = does not compute)
ReplyDeleteWow! so much on here. While I agree with how disturbing this may be in terms of sexism (submission has never been a strong point for me and I'm still working on that with my African husband - whole other issues btw) and racism (I guess I'm not the worst but I tend to fall into the "loud, black woman" category b/c I'm opinionated), I'd like to bring up a few things for consideration:
ReplyDelete1. I think the comment about being residents is not that they are illegal but rather highlighting the fact that they are in the US legally. That is, they are permanent residents and thus already have greencards to be here and so are not just looking for a white, American citizen to allow them entry into the US or to extend student or work visas that are about to expire. So it seems like a move to convince the men of not just "being used". Of course, however, being a citizen allows you to vote and do a few other things residents can't do and being a resident married to a US citizen reduces the 5 yr wait for applying for citizenship to 3 years so... Anyway, as a permanent resident myself, I'm obviously way too biased here with hatred of the immigration system ;)
2. I agree with Jessica on the differences for black women being protective of their black men. But to go further, there is an interesting interaction when a black woman dates a WHITE man and I have learned many of the intricacies in this one from watching my sister and her white boyfriend and my cousin and her white husband. They get flack from black women for not preserving culture and the same from black men but for the black men, there's a huge sexuality component where they don't believe white guys are as "good in bed" as they are and never understand why these sisters don't feel the black men are good enough for them (enter here a whole other interplay of stereotypes of black guys as violent, uneducated, lazy, non-productive members of society etc.etc.
3. There are exceptions to every rule :)